I'm feeling a little depressed right now.
I feel frustrated that I don't seem to accomplish anything. Just when I thought things are already going for me, something comes up that would have me stray from my goals. I'm back to square one, and just thinking of going through the same ordeal all over again makes me feel all exhausted already.
Just a few years ago, I was this close to having my own house. I'm close to living the dream. Alas! Destiny has a way of making things difficult. Who would have thought I'd get so burned out I had to resign from a well-paying job? Or that finding one in a field I really wanted would be like finding needle in a haystack? One has to ultimately settle for less, especially when opportunity doesn't come along as fast as expected.
The amount of time and energy spent, and for what?
The house I invested in for more than two years had to be foreclosed, only because I defaulted with the payment for a few months. And this only a few months shy from completing payment of the first 2 years of the contract, which could have given me the leverage to sell.
Imagine, all those years of hard work and money spent, flushed down the drain. Such a waste.
There's a sinking feeling whenever I look back at this moment. I try to keep my mind off the bad memories but sometimes it just comes back, aggravated perhaps by solitary moments that have become more frequent now than it used to. My sister's getting married, for one, and the prospect of being home alone for good looms large. Moments of self-reflection would be more common, if not a daily staple. I just hope I find enlightenment, and come up with an amazing idea that would turn my life around.
Oh boy, I haven't even barely scratched the surface. Don't even start with me about bills. I couldn't pay for them with the kind of salary I have, unless I stop eating or forgo all other pleasures.
Dang! Life indeed is a b****!
No comments:
Post a Comment